Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
