Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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