So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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