I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
