I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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