Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
