8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love you.
Bad choice
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