My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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