I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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