they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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