I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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