And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
