using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize