whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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