sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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