Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
