I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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