Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
