If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
