I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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