I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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