Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
