I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
