I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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