I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were trust falling into bushes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
