i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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