Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
