Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
