If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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