Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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