No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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