You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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