i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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