there was a trapeze. enough said
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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