just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize