Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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