you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
