it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
