we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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