Im at strip club and am horny
actually, I'm a sock model
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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