Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
