This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it