I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86