what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.