Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.

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  (404): she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis. http://tfl.nu/x2kt
  Replies (67) Good night (10884) Bad night (1024)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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  (405): i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would http://tfl.nu/ua94
  Replies (7) Good night (3748) Bad night (779)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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  (+44): She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave.. http://tfl.nu/u6hz
  Replies (11) Good night (1258) Bad night (4429)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (862): I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/ecro
  Replies (21) Good night (5901) Bad night (1121)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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  (484): You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night. http://tfl.nu/9q4k
  Replies (9) Good night (3210) Bad night (756)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  You're a rent hooker.

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  (201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3675) Bad night (999)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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  (315): I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus http://tfl.nu/f2or
  Replies (5) Good night (1395) Bad night (743)
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  (510): View more from California

  Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands

  (1-510): View more from California

  Tgat was the small dick alert

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  (510): Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands (1-510): Tgat was the small dick alert http://tfl.nu/0ham
  Replies (6) Good night (2183) Bad night (655)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

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  (604): I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag. http://tfl.nu/nwen
  Replies (28) Good night (3051) Bad night (627)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.

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  (425): ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense. http://tfl.nu/ojne
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (560)
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  (818): View more from California

  I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol

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  (818): I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol http://tfl.nu/sihy
  Replies (6) Good night (1314) Bad night (437)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.

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  (202): BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work. http://tfl.nu/abpr
  Replies (27) Good night (518) Bad night (2273)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (397)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have the starring role in a literal shit show.

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  (254): I have the starring role in a literal shit show. http://tfl.nu/1tyi
  Replies (5) Good night (250) Bad night (346)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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  (570): I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen. (1-570): T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met. http://tfl.nu/8lnr
  Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (632)

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