Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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