I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
