Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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