I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
COCAINE IS GR8
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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