babies were throwing up all over the place
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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