i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize