I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
