oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
