He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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