Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
