I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
