My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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