doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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