great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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