I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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