He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
