And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
