the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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