Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
