she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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