Buhtt sex?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Actions speak louder than pants.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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