I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
