woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
