Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
