I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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