I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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