the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
