Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
