are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
