he shaved USA in his pubs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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