go do what you do best...puke behind churches
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
